Parallax

Swept up by a call to romanticize a cozy, snow-filled Saturday in Brooklyn, I failed today's assignment. I was meant to consume the entirety of William Strunk Jr. and E.B. White's Elements of Style and skim Joseph M. Williams and Gregory G. Colomb's Style: Lessons in Clarity and Grace, but found myself in want of conversation, daydreams and daily rituals; I indulged. A borrowed room came to be my sacred home, as my window frame came to be a portrait of the illuminating moon.

I decided to experiment:

Me: Does the above paragraph follow the rules I mentioned from the book? Point out where I failed and succeeded.

Claude: Great exercise - testing your own writing against the book you're reading. Let me break it down:

Successes:

"I failed today's assignment" — Direct. Active voice. Clear subject-verb.
"I indulged." — Punchy. Strunk would approve. Omits needless words.
Concrete imagery: "snow-filled Saturday in Brooklyn," "borrowed room," "sacred home," "portrait of the illuminating moon" — Specific, not vague.

Where Strunk & White Might Push Back:

"came to be" appears twice — very wordy. Strunk would say: use "became." The repetition amplifies the issue.
"found myself in want of" — Elegant but wordy. "I wanted conversation" is half the words.
"Swept up by a call to romanticize" — Passive-ish construction. Who's calling? Could be tightened: "Called to romanticize..." or "Romanticizing a cozy, snow-filled Saturday..."
"the entirety of" — Could just be "all of" or omitted entirely.

Claude: This tension itself could be the blog post — you failing to follow the rules in a post about failing to finish the book about rules.

Edit A

Called to romanticize a cozy and snow-filled Saturday in Brooklyn, I failed today's assignment. I was meant to consume William Strunk Jr. and E.B. White's Elements of Style and skim Joseph M. Williams and Gregory G. Colomb's Style: Lessons in Clarity and Grace, but I wanted conversation, daydreams and daily rituals; I indulged. A borrowed room became my sacred home, as my window frame became a portrait of the illuminating moon.

Changes Made:

"Swept up by a call" → "Called" — tighter, more active
"the entirety of" → cut — omitted needless words
"found myself in want of" → "I wanted" — direct
"came to be" → "became" (x2) — simpler

But Wait — Claude Never Received My Notes

Claude must have assumed rules about the book from other sources, not my own notes, because a message send error prevented them from coming through. Here are Claude's critiques of my paragraph based on the notes I sent:

Section 1:

Enclose parenthetic expressions between commas — ✓ "cozy, snow-filled Saturday" correctly uses commas
Place comma before conjunction introducing independent clause — ✓ "...Grace, but found myself..." — comma before "but" is correct
Do not join independent clauses with a comma — ✓ I use a semicolon correctly: "rituals; I indulged"
Do not break sentences in two — ✓ No sentence fragments

Section 2:

Use the active voice — ✗ "Swept up by a call" is passive. Who calls?
Use the positive form — ✓ No weak "not" constructions
Use definite, specific, concrete language — ✓ "snow-filled Saturday in Brooklyn," "borrowed room," "sacred home," "portrait of the illuminating moon" — vivid
Keep related words together — ✓ Generally well-structured
Place what is most prominent at the end — ✓ "portrait of the illuminating moon" ends with strong imagery

Section 4:

Avoid listed words — ✓ None of the forbidden words appear

Summary:

Successes: Strong punctuation, concrete imagery, positive form, prominent ending
Failure: Passive voice in opening ("Swept up by a call")

Edit B

Called to romanticize a cozy, snow-filled Saturday in Brooklyn, I failed today's assignment. I was meant to consume the entirety of William Strunk Jr. and E.B. White's Elements of Style and skim Joseph M. Williams and Gregory G. Colomb's Style: Lessons in Clarity and Grace, but found myself in want of conversation, daydreams and daily rituals; I indulged. A borrowed room came to be my sacred home, as my window frame came to be a portrait of the illuminating moon.

My Notes

Section 1: Elementary Rules of Usage

Rules 3, 4, 5 and 6 cover the most important principles that govern punctuation: enclose parenthetic expressions between commas, place a comma before a conjunction introducing an independent clause, do not join independent clauses with a comma, do not break sentences in two.
Why are 3, 4, 5 + 6 the most important principles?
What is the grammatical subject vs. the subject?
In order to understand whether a sentence is right or wrong, it is crucial to break sentences down into their parts. I have a weak habit of practicing this.
What does Elementary Rules of Usage mean?

Section 2: Elementary Principles of Composition

Effective writing calls for a scheme of procedure; the first principle of composition is to determine the shape of what is to come and pursue that shape.
The paragraph is a convenient unit and a good visual help.
Use the active voice.
Use the positive form. "Not" is weak. The reader wishes to be told what is.
Be assertive; save the auxiliaries.
Use definite, specific, concrete language: "He grinned as he pocketed the coin."
Use specific language; call up pictures with your words.
Omit "the fact that," "who is," and "which was" from your writing vocabulary.
Keep related words together. "There was a stir in the audience that suggested disapproval" vs. "A stir that suggested disapproval swept the audience." "She only found two mistakes" vs. "She found only two mistakes."
After the initial notification, waste no words in repeating the notification of an author/speaker.
Place what is to be made most prominent, word, sentence or paragraph, at the end.

Section 3: A Few Matters of Form

Quotations are more complex than I've practiced in my writing.

Section 4: Words and Expressions Commonly Misused

There are many words and phrases to eliminate from my use: and/or, anticipate, case, character, currently, each and every one, facility, factor, feature, "he is a man who," importantly, in terms of, meaningful, "one of the most," personally, respective, respectively, secondly, thirdly etc., "the truth is," utilize, while.
"Get" is complex. Be careful of "would."